SAHM feeling Down and depressed

This past week I have been feeling soo down(period is coming in 5 days) and depressed like 3 years ago when I had ppd and couldn't even leave my house bc it was soo bad. I just wish I had a friend to talk to.. someone who understands me without judging me. My husband is supportive but I feel bad for him bc he has been dealing with me moping around. I've been trying to look alive so my lil ones don't realize but it's been a challenge trying not to cry bc I feel like a failure like I could be a better mom if I didn't suffer from depression. Thansk for listening