“I do” but how I say

A gift is a gift and no you don’t dictate how someone uses a gift. If you do, it’s not a gift. It’s a control tactic. $15k can be used in much better ways. Mom should be proud of their smart financial.

If it was given under a certain pretense, and the couple decided to go against the request, I think the mom has a right to be pissed. For instance, we had a family friend who had a tragic accident occur (lost their only car, husband was in the hospital unable to work for nearly 6 months and their 2 toddlers were injured so mom had to take time off work too) and they created a go fund me to cover their loss. Well insurance and legal settlements kicked in and they used the money for a cruise. like yes, it’s their money they can use it for what they want but it’s a little off putting knowing I gave them money to better their situation and instead I paid towards their luxury vacation.

Personally, if I knew they were giving me money towards the wedding but we weren’t having one I’d give it back.Now if it was just a gift to us and they didn’t say it was towards the wedding then I’d keep it.

Sounds like she gifted the money to go towards the wedding cost. They chose not to use it for that and just pocket it. Yes, they can keep it but they are assholes for doing so.

If it was just a random gift of here is 15K to start your life use it however then no its fine. If mom said I will put 15K toward your wedding and then they skip the wedding and still want the money then no they don't get the money. Maybe if they talked before and said "we really just want the courthouse and would rather out money to a house or paying off debts" and see if she was ok with giving the money then maybe but just to expect a free 15K because they decided to do something she didn't intend to give money for and still expecting a payday is pretty selfish. I wonder if they didn't know mom would be offering the money if they would have planned a small wedding or still went court house or if they saw this as their chance for a money grab.

It was specifically for a wedding. If the person isn't okay with a compromise such a using it towards a down payment on a house or to pay off some debt then yes the couple is pretty dirty for not giving it back.

Yeah... a gift is a gift. They might have known her desire for a fun wedding but if they decided on something simpler thats a them decision.

nope. gift is a gift. I think too many ppl give in falsity. they give for themselves, not for the person who receives.

A gift of gift. Can Not take back of gift in any form.