I was raped by an ex boyfriend 8 months ago. After I broke up with him, he raped me. When I made the police report they had me call him so we could get it recording to see if we could get a confession which we did and blamed me for it.

We went to criminal court and he took a plea deal to avoid jail time. We were all in the same friends group and he was really popular at our college.

He got expelled over it and so many people took his side and I have spent the last several months getting death threats. His best friend told me he should have killed me and my rapist mocking the situation online. I recently found out my best friend hung out with him and it fucking hurt me.

I tried to tell her how I felt. I wasn't accusatory but I just said it hurts because we had been friends for so long and she blew up at me saying being my friend is isolating. She went to hang out with friends and those friends invited him and that's the only reason she hung out with him.

She told me so many people won't fuck with her because she's friends with me and I ruined his life and got him kicked out of college. That she doesn't care because she's glad to have my back but it's isolating. I just started to cry and she says "Now I'm the bad guy. Listen. He raped you. He was found guilty. It's over. I'm not his friend. He got invited there and I wasn't gonna be rude and ignore him."

I just feel like such a a burden on people and feel like everyones lives would be better without me.