To Be or Not To Be?

Yesterday(technically), makes a month since I lost my ‘second’ virginity since I’ve been abstaining from sex… My SO and I reconnected again about a year ago, after a few years of being apart and some failed relationships on both sides.

I have no regrets on anything. I’m glad we waited, I’m glad we rebuilt our relationship, and I’m glad we finally did the dance again 🥰

Now, it feels like we’re both on the same page about life (which we’ve never totally been in the past), and it makes me really excited for our future since that was the only thing that was holding us back.

Now, we’re both getting older, and I want children. He has one whom I adore, and we both want at least one more, so I’ve been speaking it into existence that I’ll be pregnant this year, and I took it a step further saying ‘I’ll get pregnant the first time we do it..’ 🤭

Welllll we did the dance 2 days before Aunt Flow arrived last month, and I went through last month with no issues. She came and left like she was supposed to. ATP, I feel like it’s important to note that I’ve recently had to adjust to shorter cycles. I was concerned at the time, but my Dr wasn’t and told me to let her know if they get any shorter…

Well, here I am now waiting till morning to pee on a stick because Aunt Flow is now 4days late when she’s normally very punctual.. It wasn’t even on my mind until I bumped my nipple in the store earlier, and it really really hurt. My friend started asking questions since that’s uncommon for me to complain about as a PMS symptom, and thinking back they’ve been hurting for a while.. I also think I have Keratosis Pilaris, which is also weird for me and Google said it could be triggered by pregnancy…

Anyways, I have an appointment with the dermatologist tomorrow, but I’ll definitely be peeing on a stick in a few hours before I go. I’m not sure what thing God is doin, but I’m sure hoping for a bun in the oven.

If I get 2 more negative tests then I’m going drunk bowling on Saturday…. but if there’s a positive in the mix, I’ll be busy processing my thoughts and Thanking God for our lil Love Child. 🥰

thanks for reading!!