mixed emotions

i honestly don’t even know where to start. i’ve been feeling very sad and depressed lately and if you ask me if i’m okay i’ll say yes but deep down im just not. and i don’t even know why i feel like this.. a lot feels like self confidence, family leaving, friends meeting goals and watching everyone’s success. i’m happy for everyone honestly and it’s great that they are succeeding. and i’ve reached my goals i’ve set too but im not the one to share and brag. (not saying these people are) my self confidence has definitely changed since me and boyfriend took a break (he wanted the break & yes i know red flag) but the physical touch, words of affirmation is just gone and has definitely played a big role on me and i also hurt my feelings by asking if he’s even attracted to me and he just answered about his career. so now i know the last 3weeks of us really haven’t been us. and ive cried my eyes out for like 10 mins but i have no clue what else to say but feel sad and the depressed part just saying it makes me cry family has also been changing and being the adopted child i feel like ive been the odd one out and get treated very differently and i get left out of everything and i know im an adult but its really affecting me