I'm miserable

Im 37 and a wife of 4. I've been with my husband since I was 17. I never really expected to be a traditional wife. I was raised by a single dad and he always told me no matter what I do I need to get some type of education or certification and not to depend on anyone. He always said a man is not a plan. I was going to go to college but my husband, then boyfriend/fiancè told me if I loved him I would marry him right away and he wants a house wife. My dad told me to at the very least go to trade school and get a trade but I was young and dumb so I never got anything. I got married at 18 and had our first baby at 19. I've been in the home for a decade and have been a sahm/house wife and I hate it. I hate being home all day with my kids. I don't want to play on the floor all day. But I was never allowed to get a job. I also don't have a driver's license because my husband said I would be home all the time anyway and I don't need a driver's license. I don't have money in my name. So I cook, clean, take care of kids, and repeat. My husband makes a lot of money so he believes he doesn't have to help me. I have to do all this and have sex when he wants. I don't want anymore kids but I'm not allowed to get on birth control. He for years has pointed out thinks he doesn't like about me like my teeth. My teeth weren't perfect but I didn't hate them. He would continue to bring down my teeth and then forced me into completely changing them. I got veneers and honestly hate them. I was fine with my teeth and now feel like I ruined them forever.

I was having some health issues down there and my husband kept putting off taking me to an appointment. I had gonorrhea and did not know and it went untreated and because of that I lost a ovary. I found out my husband had been cheating on me with prostitute for God knows how long. I did everything to become everything he wanted in a woman and he cheated on me with everything he's supposed to hate. I am miserable. I hate him. I know many will suggest marriage counseling but I will never love him again. I think I fell out of love years ago tbh. But I have nothing. No career. No education. No drivers license. No skills. No money. Me and my father haven't spoken in 5 years because my dad and him just didn't get along so I had to cut him off. I don't know what's left for me