Dreading Pregnancy

Please tell me I’m not alone. We were trying for this baby, so it’s not like it’s a surprise pregnancy. And i have a healthy 19 month old who I adore, but my last pregnancy was so miserable (sick the entire 9 months, tired all the time, couldn’t physically work, awful taste in my mouth 24/7) i ended my pregnancy with high blood pressure and that turned into mild-preeclampsia. I’m 6w+3d and already throwing up, bad taste in my mouth so everything tastes horrible, and beyond exhausted. It’s so much harder now because i have a daughter who needs me and I’m a toddler teacher so I have 14 other 2 year olds relying on me. I’m just sitting here and wondering how I’m going to make it through 9 months of this. My BP is already getting higher too. At my appointment to confirm my pregnancy it was 129/85 and yesterday it was 131/87. This is our last baby, we’ve only ever wanted two but I’m already dreading this and also scared for my own health at this point. I didn’t have high bp until 30 weeks last time. I need some words of encouragement i guess. I feel so horrible for not being excited for pregnancy.