My almost 3 year old son has been fully potty trained since he was 18 months old in terms of not needing diapers. We had been taking him potty and pulling his pants up and down, flushing and washing his hands for him. A few months ago, I started teaching him to do all these things independently in preparation for attending school this August where they are required to be 100 percent toilet independent (Montessori school). All that to say, he absolutely can do everything he needs to do to be toilet independent, but only when he wants to. Otherwise he has tantrums and draws out the whole process to the point of disrupting the rest of the family's needs and daily schedule. He wants us to help him in the bathroom. I want to be sure he is willing and able to follow the school's requirements.

What positive parenting/Montessori tips can y'all give me to help him be willing to use his independence skills without it being so traumatic for all of us? Bribes and threats definitely don't work- they have never worked for him in his life, on any topic. He has to think things are his idea. 🤦‍♀️