My boyfriend of nearly 6 years just left me I don’t know what to do

I’m pretty sure my boyfriend of nearly 6 years just left me. He has told me it is my fault. At first, we had sex a lot and About not even a year into our relationship he cheated on me and it made it difficult for me to want to have sex.. we didn’t have sex very often for probably two years. He also started telling me thought of me as gross because I have been with 5 men including him. It was difficult to have sex when I felt like I was gross to him and he would tell me I felt too “loose”. Afterwards, he said he couldn’t find me sexually attractive because I didn’t want to have sex often enough with him in the past and he felt like I wasn’t attracted to him. He told me he wanted to have threesomes to try to get the spark back, but truthfully I didn’t want this and only went through with it to make him happy. I was very jealous and depressed and it didn’t work out good at all. Each time he would say I was giving him mean eyes while we were doing it and just looked mad even when I was trying so hard not to. He ended up getting really upset and punching a wall while she was at our apartment which made her want to leave. He ended up losing one of his friends because she was who we were trying to do this with. He tells me he doesn’t want me sexually because this didn’t work out and because I denied him too long previously. I truly have been trying to show I want him but he always denies me or stays on his phone the entire time because he says I don’t do good. I feel so devastated because despite everything I loved this man so much. I don’t really have any friends to fall back on and my parents live hours away. I feel so miserable and hate myself for not being able to give him what he wants and for it being my fault we broke up. He hasn’t had a job recently and I’ve tried to still get him everything he needs and support him to try to show I love him but nothing has worked. In the past, the relationship has been very violent with the cops being called out due to him hitting me and choking me. I still feel so miserable because I don’t want to lose him.. I am currently still at work and haven’t went home to face him. He has been texting me about wanting to break up. I don’t know what to do to make myself get a life back… even if I eventually move on who would ever want me if I truly do feel loose? I also have a lot of trouble giving blowjobs as I have TMJ so I feel like such an absolute loss to get into a relationship with