Husband called me a b*tch without provocation

As I was prepping lunch for the both of us, I offered rice with my husband’s food. We had leftovers to use up, and I wind up offering it twice. Like, “Are you sure? This rice is really good.” I’m just acting normal. I’m not doing anything that’d warrant a negative reaction.

He’s on the PlayStation and I hear him loudly mutter something and he calls me a b*tch. I stop and ask him to repeat what he said, and he’s like “oh, I called you a witch.” He really thinks I’m that stupid. I say, “No, I know what you called me.” He gives it up and gets defensive, “what, I call my friend that all of the time.”

I can’t make this stuff up. He’s really defending himself. I respond, “No, I’m your wife. Not your buddy. You don’t call your wife a b*tch just because you’re annoyed that I offer you rice with your food.”

He’s hardly apologetic. And I’m surprised with him because this isn’t typical. To add insult to injury he tried covering it up in the dumbest way possible. We’ve been having issues as is and I’m trying to get us into marriage counseling, because if we don’t I’m really close to leaving this marriage.

When I followed up with him later he turned into this meek childish man-boy. I was calm and respectful, explaining to him that I will not put up with verbal abuse. And if he continues like that, it will potentially end our marriage. It’s a deal breaker for me. It’s weird, because I feel so parentified when doing this with him. He literally behaved like a child who’s in trouble when I became stern with him.

I just don’t think he respects me. I never call him names. I’ve always spoken for my own feelings, never accusing or yelling at him. He’s not reciprocating the same respect, and that hurts. How would you handle this?