I have no one to talk to

I had to have an abortion about a year ago now and I’m still so… sad. I don’t regret it because I was not physically or mentally well but I can’t help but wonder how things would be. I feel so sad and I never told a soul that I was even pregnant besides my now ex. I was betrayed while I was throwing up and passing out so it was for the best of course. Just still feel sad.