Me and my best friend started dating in Feb 2024

Me (21F) Him (22M)

Him and I were best friends for 4 months before we started dating. It was amazing… the best guy friend i’ve ever had. There was no awkwardness, no boring moments. Just me and him.

I started taking him to church with me, we’d have vent sessions for hours, hang out/ get food, etc

He started to catch feelings. I told him I wasn’t healed from a past relationships but he still begged and begged for me to give it a try. So I admit that I did agree - and now i regret it.

For the past 5 months I’ve been having to drive 45mins to him and back home twice a week (on weekends) after working all week so we can see eachother. Bought him gifts…

I pay for my gas/ for dates/ i’m the transportation, etc

It’s been 5 months of him not having a job and he comes up with every excuse under the sun on why he can’t get one.

(The job he got in May doesn’t apply because he only worked there for 2 weeks before they fired him for being unreliable and call outs - his excuse was that they fired him for ignoring the walkietalkie when they called him)

I keep trying and trying to hold onto him, give him advice, give him a 3rd chance, etc … but it’s getting hard

I say this humbly but i’m a 21yr old female with her own car, paid off. A radiology assistant and a landlord.

Just 7 months ago I was homeless, living in my car and was running off survival mode.

This isn't me trying to compare us but this is more towards me saying that I think I am settling for less than.

I like my boyfriend, but I LOVE him as my bestfriend.

Ive tried to get him to understand/ broke up with him just for him to show up at my house at 12am in his aunties van saying "You really wasted my f time" "B*** are so ungrateful" etc etc

As you can see, im still with him and im not happy… im scared to break things off again because of his temper so i basically try to avoid speaking with him as much as i can.