I invited my bf (now ex) to a small get together at my house. We had a great time, drinks, fun, we laughed - pool party w lots of food/ family and friends.

I was too drunk to drive him home, so he took the guest room for the night.

The next time, I took him home. We usually would hug in the car whenever I’d take him back home from being with me but this time I got out and gave him a good hug. Our last hug.. We kissed, I made sure he got inside safely and then I left.

It’s been 2 days since I’ve talked to him.

It’s been 5 months of emotional abuse in this relationship. 5 months of excuses on why he can’t get a job, why he doesn’t have a job. 5 months of him projecting onto me. 4 months of losing my mind, and him trying to convince me I was the crazy one - that I was the toxic one when all I did was love him, i tried to be his motivator, i tried to uplift him but i cannot help a man who doesn’t even want to help himself.

He tried to convince me I was in the wrong for him lying to me about him, his homeboy and the homeboy gf sleeping in the bed with him. For allowing the hb girlfriend to grab his phone out of his hand when me and him are having a disagreement so she can give me advice? Hb girlf that he only knew for 8hrs before he left her move in and he calls her (sis), the girl who he let wear his clothes, who he allowed to talk bad about me with his friends? Who kept it a secret between them that she sleeps in the bed with them until she told me.

all the lies, secrets and chaos just for them to leave 2 weeks later. left him with nothing, a empty home and now without a gf who was here before them. before he started lying, before he started disrespecting me.

I love him, but it took me years to master this level of peace. I’ve been through hell the past 6 years and this year is MY year. i will not waste another 5 months nor allow someone to get into my head and screw up all the hardwork i put it to undo all the mess i’ve been through in the past.