Am I an asshole or does my wife not appreciate me

Me and my wife just welcomed our 4th son into the world. She him by C-section a week ago. I've been doing my part to be there for her and help her because she is my world. Our oldest son is 14. He was reading in the living room and I told him to know that I love his mom more and his mom will always come first. He said oh. I told him how it works it God first. Than his mom. Then him. He said oh. I told him it doesn't mean I don't love him. Just know his mom is always first.

My wife asked to talk to me and she asked why I told him that. I told her I was praising her and his expressing how much I love her. She told me it was weird to say that out of nowhere completely unprompted and I made our son feel like he's last in my life when he already has "depression"(he doesn't). I told her I didn't understand why she was mad that I showed my love for her and she said " I just don't understand a reason to tell him that our of nowhere besides wanting to hurt his feelings." I asked her doesn't she love me more and she told me she has a different love for me than the kids. I asked would she always put me first like I do her and she was quiet. She said if I'm asking who she would feed is we barely had any food it would be the kids and if she's asking who she would believe if any of our kids said I abused them it would be the kids. I got mad and she said she hoped I would do the same. Take care of our kids and believe them. I said if our son ever said mommy diddled me I wouldn't believe him because I know her. She told me she's done with the conversation because it's not getting anywhere. I said "I swear. Women don't actually know what they want. They want a guy who adores them and I do that and you still have a problem. She said she's not arguing with me. But she started the argument. I'm worried she's being brainwashed by the woke mob that tells her it's ok to hate men. Including her husband. I love my wife and I feel completely inappropriated now

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I understand women have a natural connection to their kids. I love all my kids. I just think you should live your spouse more. I also think it's inappropriate regardless if it's your son or not to love another man more than your husband. I would never love my mom more than my wife. My wife is the woman I love the most in my life.

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I posted on here because I figured if other women could understand my point I can show it to her.

267 views • 1 upvote • 14 comments

COMMENT (14)

St

Posted at
This has to be a troll right....no way this is a real father. I cannot imagine a parent just unprompted and totally random telling my child they come tied for 3rd on my life. Again getting major troll vibes but if not then ya...your wife if the correct one here in every way on any day.

J

J • Jul 3, 2024
Yeah definitely a troll lol

Ja

Posted at
Why did you post this here? On a public forum where there are primarily women? Did you think anyone was going to support you or are you that bored in your real life? Learn to take feedback and understand other peoples perspectives and your wife won’t grow to resent you.

Na

Posted at
get back to reddit you fucking incel troll 👉🏼 none of this happened lmfao

Ki

Posted at
Trolls are out in full force today

fi

Posted at
I feel like this has nothing to do with your love for your wife. You just wanted an excuse to hurt your son's feelings.

Av

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You’re disgusting. I will always love my son more. It’s a different type of love. There is nothing inappropriate about loving your children more. You sexualizing it is disgusting. What you said to your son is disgusting as well.

Mo

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So… You're jealous of your son? Why are you making it into a competition? You need to get your head checked.

Me

Posted at
You should ABSOLUTELY NOT put a ANYONE including GODDDD in front of your fucking kids. What the fuck is wrong with you. Kids come first, then partner, then family, then you can choose whatever god you’d like. But to choose ANYONE over your own fucking child is absolutely disgusting. And any god who would rather you put him in front of your kids is a terrible god. You are wrong.

Me

Melissa • Jul 3, 2024
Also you would never love your mom more because she’s the same sex as your wife? That’s putting a sexual aspect to this and that’s fucking disgusting and YOUUUU need help for thinking that way. I have a husband and three boys, I love all my boys more than my husband and would choose them over him any day…… but I don’t understand how that would be considered “inappropriate” because I’m a woman when I don’t think of my kids in a sexual way. You have some serious mental problems that you should go speak to someone about. How you can mix sexual things with family is wild and a problem that is within you! And not a problem with other people. Normal people don’t think it’s “inappropriate”. And men like you are going to wind up getting jealous of your own sons because they grow into men and you feel threatened because they have more muscles or look better than you and your poor fragile male ego will think they will get all the women and you get nothing. You are gross.

Ty

Posted at
I understand your qorries and fears but one thing you should realize is that there is different ways in which we love people. You cannot have the same love you have for god your wife and your children. God is love in totality. With your wife and kids there are actual limits and conditions. Shes upset because as a parent she.wants her children to feel like they matter and that they dont just come second to yours or anyones needs. I as a.monther of 4 know that i love my husband whole heartedly, but if my children were harmed by my husband in any way i would leave him for the betterment of my childrens lives. They literally are born from my body. I literally broke myself to give birth to them. There is a difference though where parents need to be united in all things parenting with the children and the mother or father should for the most part(within reason) should be backing their spouse up. I understand that you are a man and you have a different thought approach to things than i as a woman but you meed to realize that we women are nuturers, naturally. We wouldnt say or cause anything that would give any slight amount of uncertainty. I dont believe that the actual comment was bad or that it even came from a bad place, its just you said it to your son who is going or have gone recently through puberty and during that time they REALLY do not need ANY uncertainty. You should have a conversation with him again and tell him your sincerest feelings without invovling placements, because at the.end of the day, it doesnt matter if they think they are first or not. The only one who you should bocal about line placement is god. God first and then everything else is kept in your heart. Best of luck to you guys.

Ro

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I understand and agree with you ! Put your wife first and everything will follow. There’s a reason God ordered the family the way He did ! It’s obvious you’ll take care of the kids needs right but my husband will come first!

Ki

Ki • Jul 4, 2024
Your kids will grow up to resent, if not hate, you & your religion

fi

fi • Jul 3, 2024
So you wouldn't believe your kids if they said your husband molested them? Because that's what this guy said