It has been a few years since I’ve used this app, but I’m coming here to seek some advice, thoughts, guidance..anything.

I (32f) am in a relationship with a 34m. We currently live a couple hours apart and have been dating for about 5 months.

As time has went on and we’re learning more about each other I’m finding that my feelings are changing. Some of my issues are..

1. Hygiene. He showers maybe twice a week.

2. Cleanliness..everything has a smell. He also has several different kinds of pets.

3. Living situation. He lied initially. For anonymity I’m not going to detail his living situation and I’m not judging for what he had to do but I’m upset that he lied about it.

4. Job. He can’t hold a job for more than 4-6 months consistently. He either walks out or gets fired.

5. Views. I’m not a political person so this is less about politics and more about his views that he’s forever a victim. It’s exhausting trying to have conversations with someone so stuck in this mindset that everyone owes him because everyone has wronged him in his eyes.

6. I feel like his “way out” for everything. His living situation, his education, his finances..literally everything. He’s been incredibly pushy about moving in with me, spending more time in my space (I refuse because I’m worried once he’s in my space I won’t be able to get him to leave and go back home). I have been very adamant in saying no since the beginning and making my boundaries clear but he gets upset and his moods about this are almost unbearable and last for days or weeks. I’ve said I can’t be financially responsible for another person and my mental health is suffering lately and I don’t want to live together. He’s adamant that he can “help/take care of me”. I don’t want to be taken care of, I want my partner to respect my boundaries. I’ve tried to say this several times.

On the flip side of all of this he’s a very sweet and caring person who is absolutely in love with me and I really don’t want to hurt him. I’d love to be able to work on some of these things but I’m just not sure that they can work out in the long run unless there are major changes