I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around the events of last Saturday. To make a long story short, I went to a pool party and accidentally got super drunk. So much to the point where I don’t remember 98% of the night. I didn’t mix anything o stuck to one liquor the whole time. Granted I was drinking for a while but I had no idea I blacked out before I did. I ended up in the bathroom with a man… we didnt screw but I gave him 🥬 and don’t even remember it. I’ve never put myself in a situation like this. Ever. I’ve been so adamant on not sharing my body with anyone and honoring God so my spirit feels crushed in a way for letting myself & God down. And as for the man, he’s a friend that I’ve had since I was 19. I just feel so stupid, embarrassed, ashamed and slutty. How do I move past this and make peace with this ☹️ it’s disrupting my work. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can barely focus on a tv show before a wave of immense guilt comes over me. I just turned 25. This is not how I envisioned my first couple of days of 25 will be. I feel like I’ve taken 20 steps backwards and I was making so much progress..

I can tell you one thing, I never want to drink ever again. The panic I felt when I woke up the next morning was enough for me to kick that habit. I never want to disgrace myself like that ever again. I wasn’t raised to be that type of girl and I’m so disappointed that after so many drinks I became that girl.

You guys don’t have to say much or anything at all.. I just wanted to get it out.