If you’ve read my previous post, husband and I are living separately this summer and he doesn’t want to live together until I can show that I have my anger/temper issues under control and we are getting along. I think it’s been harder for me living separately because we’ve spent all of our time together for 4-5 years. Not all the time, but living together.

I know I have to work on myself, but through this transition he hasn’t been putting in very much effort to see me, make plans (sometimes he will on the weekends) when we’re talking over the phone, he seems to want to leave the conversation only after 20 minutes because he’s either too tired or exhausted to talk about our issues which makes me feel like there’s never a good time to do so. He doesn’t seem to miss me very much or initiate plans during the week to make time for each other, he rather spend time with his hobbies and friends. I’m moving back in with my parents and have to drive four hours this weekend with my dog and he hasn’t really said much to make me feel like he cares how my trip will go or made me feel safe/reassured. He has offered for me to stop by to see if I need anything before I go. I feel resentful of him in a lot of areas since living apart and don’t know if I should let him go or try to work things out at this point. I’m slowly getting use to living apart and the idea of getting my own place seems more and more exciting each day. He doesn’t really check in with me during the day until late at night and it makes me feel like he doesn’t think of me at all during the day or on his lunch break. I’m just so tired of being emotionally attached all the time and anxious about our future to the point where I feel like cutting all ties honestly. But I do love him and want to build a future, but the feelings just aren’t the same anymore. He says I have to change my behavior so we can start a family, but that makes me nervous and the strain kids would put on us.

I feel like a mess, confused about my feelings, and honestly don’t know what to do.