How do you get past a relationship where you were the problem?

Question

Its really hard bc he was everything i wanted. I messed it up bc i wasnt ready( theres more to this but itd be lengthy) i feel my mind tortures me bc they were the best person Id ever had.It makes me feel like i should just stay out of relationshipsand maybe find happiness being single and alone. But im struggling moving fwd. I feel guilty,angry,sad. I tried therwpy looking for another bc he isnt it his advice is too surface level. Pls help... edit: the guy isnt much help. When i vented my issues he just suggested financial solutionslike me being a hair braider and spewking positive affirmations over myself.ECIT: THANMS GG THATS A GOOD LIST

Answer

Therapy. Finding the Right combination of medications so you can feel normal and functioning normally. Finding your own closure. Writing a letter. Get everything off your chest. All things you wish you could have said. Get it all out. Screaming into a pillow for the anger and resentment. Finding forgiveness. Forgiveness isn’t for them it’s for you. Forgiving yourself and learning to let things go and not being hard on yourself. Forgiving them. Not to their face, but to yourself, not because they deserve it, but because you deserve peace within and they are no longer going to be the reason for your unhappiness. Letting go and stop giving them power over your happiness or controlling your emotions. Stay present. The relationship is in the past. All over thinking does is steal your happiness and sabotage future relationships. Is the new guy going to do what the last did. Can’t take baggage from a past relationship into a future on or the ship is going to sink. Gotta deal with things and let them go. Say to yourself. I am the thinker of my thoughts. All thoughts are an illusion. Instead I choose to think about ____. Yell stop it whatever your name is. When a negative thought comes to mind. Change the thought pattern. Life is what you make it. The only one that limits you is yourself. Choose differently. Enjoy life. You have been given the gift of time to do all the things you have always wanted to do. Further your education. Read books. Knock things off your bucket list. Take a class. Cooking, pottery, painting. Exercise it’s a natural antidepressant. Keep yourself busy. Volunteering is like a makeover to the soul. It makes you grateful that you don’t have to deal with what they do. It makes you appreciate life. It gives your life purpose. It makes you stop focusing on yourself but on others instead. It makes your problems not seem so big. Habitat for humanity for people who lost their homes to disasters. Feeding the homeless at a soup kitchen. Reading to the blind. Etc. there’s a difference between loneliness and being alone. Being alone there is freedom. Peace. Solace. Don’t think of it as what you lost. Think of it as what you NO longer have to deal with. Sacrifice. Compromise. Sadness. Neglect. Abuse. Etc. figure out who you are and do it on purpose. We all have a purpose in life. To give back to our community. To better our lives and those around us. It’s not to cry over a guy that isn’t losing sleep over you. Close that book and keep moving forward. Surround yourself with supportive people. Friends and family. If you don’t have them then Animals or Religious affiliations and find your own village of support. Put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward.

Answer

Change therapists. Once you find one you connect with it will help you. It’s not unusual to have to try a few before you find the right one.

Answer

I think it's important for you to forgive yourself, learn from your mistakes, and apply what you've learned to the future.. It's OK if you want to be single for now. It's probably best so that you can work on these issues. Remember that a therapist is only there to help you process and work through your issues. You are the one who really has to do the work of getting through it. Sometimes therapists may suggest solutions to things that you consider problems or try to help you see what you are good at in order to solve your own problem. But if you don't think he's a good therapist, certainly try to find a new one. Keep trying! As long as you are putting in the effort to work on things, you're doing great. ￼￼￼￼￼￼

Answer

Keep trying with therapy.

Answer

Therapy

How do you get past a relationship where you were the problem?

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