Husband and I are going through a rough patch. I'm a stay at home mom kids are young. I am actually waiting surgery but not supposed to use my arm. We don't have help with the kids at all.

What was happening is I was using my arm and in turn made things much worse.

Then I resulted in continuously asking my husband for help and things wouldn't be done.

Or then I would end up in the end just using my arm being in more pain and have resentment from asking multiple times then just doing stuff to keep peace. It wasn't creating peace at all.

He is tired of me constantly complaining about my arm. He's upset I'm in such a mood all the time. It is currently so bad I am crying lashing out from lack of help stress and pain.

The example would be:

I would ask him to wash pump parts. I would mention it a few times over a few hours. Then I would go to pump and not only do we not have pump parts not washed but bottles are not washed too.

Another example is I asked him for three days to pack a beach bag so I could take our kids to the beach. Every day for three days. I told him I needed the kids swim suits. He never packed or found the suits.

I will tell him a child needs a nap and tell him what time to put the kid down for a nap. He wouldn't.

I'm so fed up emotionally with my physical situation and I feel like our marriage is so unbalanced. He left me to get two kids out of church having meltdowns with one arm. To say I have shut down to him is an understatement. I have held contempt resentment and anger in my heart for him.

My approach this week it to mention what needs to be done and then wait for the let down.

Examples. I told him laundry needed to be done. He came home today and the oldest didn't have underwear.

I told him dishes needed to be done. Oldest went to camp with my water bottle because he didn't have any.

I told him my laundry needed to be done I've been in pajamas all day I wore the same outfit all the other days this week and no underwear today.

Told him the kids need dinner what to make and what time (it was all prepped he just had to microwave it.) he was feeding kids dinner at 7:30 not what was prepped for him and they were having melt downs and he ended up having to make them a second meal to get full.

I didn't remind him of bedtime I just walked away. An hour past bedtime he asked me if I was getting kids to bed I said no. I have been putting the kids to be alone most nights. I had needed to put heat on my arm.

I am unattached to him at this point. I legit don't care how he fumbles. I expect if he is home he pulls 50/50 of duties. I'm tired of carrying the weight of our problems and keeping his life unchanged for his well being. He has played sports went out with friends played golf all while leaving me with kids and one arm. I'm over it. I get that this isn't the ideal situation put I'm tired of him complaining about it either. Dishes one day took me two hours with one arm. These are not easy tasks. I will only care for the kids and do what it is necessary for them. My doctor keeps yelling at me but I legit don't have help.

I don't know what to do then to let him fail. What would you do?

Found out he didn't feed the baby a big enough bottle he's crying had to make him another. He didn't do dishes. The dog is chewing on dirty laundry in our living room. The house looks like a tornado came through and I had the home decent before I sat down? How can someone just leave the house a disaster not take care of a baby and house and go to bed?