I’m having a hard time because I don’t agree with the way my husband does parenting sometimes.

He becomes annoyed with crying and wining easily and is sometimes quick to raise his voice. We have an intelligent 2.5 year old and an 8 month old. Our 2.5 year old has a hard time being patient when he and I are talking to one another and she always just wants to play with me or say she has something to say and then when we let her speak it’s “mama want to play with me?” But when she’s not patient enough to wait she starts to get loud. Sometimes she’ll yell, or cry or whine to which my husband yells at her and she cries and then he yells at her to stop crying or she’ll go to the bedroom or get a spanking. Which usually makes her cry more. When I try to intervene he says I’m undermining him and taking away his authority. When I do it, I try to explain to her that it is important to be patient and also what it means to be patient. “First we say, excuse me. Then when I’ve heard you, you wait until we’re done speaking and then it can be your turn.” Which works sometimes but not all the time. But anyway. I hate how much he escalates these types of situations and I’m getting tired of the, do you want a spanking? Today I was in the room with both littles and my 2.5 year old was giving attitude and being grumpy and I told her the respectful way of saying what she was trying to say, I told her she wasn’t a bad girl that she was a good polite girl and she said “no I’m a bad girl” and I don’t know to what extent she meant or felt that way. But I don’t want her to think that she is bad just to know how to be polite. You know what I mean? I guess this is a little bit of venting but at the same time how do you parent with a spouse whom you don’t agree with their parenting ways? 😞 I get that toddlers are moody, but I don’t want her to model his anger too much.