37/F - I have been with my partner for 14, going on 15 years. I have been the rock in almost every way possible in our relationship. He is a genuinely good person to those he cares about most, but doesn’t like being social or anything. No friends to speak of. He is on SSDI. I mention this, because it plays a huge role in the issues I am facing. I am struggling so bad mentally because there’s so much pressure on me lately. The economy is garbage and i’m the only one working. His income is less than 1 of my paychecks for the month. SSDI barely covers the mortgage. I can barely make ends meet. We had to return bottles just to get a gallon of milk 4 days til pay day. I have a million things i need to budget for on top of regular expenses, and every day i just feel it boiling over. Its not him personally that upsets me, but its the idea that this is my life for the next 30-40 years. I’m never going to get to retire, never been on a vacation, my car is old and it terrifies me that one day my means to get to work and get my kids to and from places will be gone. I have no car payment, so I literally have no clue what ill do. I do have a good job. A decent paying job too. I make too much for govt assistance, but enough to barely live. I know a lot of people have it rough right now, but its affecting me as a person and i am so resentful. I’m resentful at the fact my partner never has to work. Has outside moral/financial support (my family isn’t there for me much). He doesn’t have to budget, has so much free time during the day, and especially when kids are in school. He watches shows, tinkers, scrolls on his phone (the expensive phone bought for him by his outside support). Meanwhile I have a phone so old my app’s can’t update, haven’t had alone time in idk how long, always cleaning, always worrying, and feel constant mom guilt for everything. Shit I haven’t had a decent haircut in over a year. So i choose to spend all my waking hours working and trying to find ways to spend time with them and stuff. Im never good enough and he totally takes his time for granted. Not to bash him, but he never takes the kids anywhere like to the park or anything and it makes me upset. My little girl just sits around the house by herself and him. She is so under-stimulated during the week, that by the weekend on days off i am trying to squeeze in activities. Ugh. I don’t even have any friends neither. Idk. Sorry. I just needed to vent and maybe someone can comment that they think im not nuts or something. I’m just lonely and so overwhelmed. TMI - not a lot of passion going on around here neither. So really feel alone and just sad.