I met this guy who has been single for about 2 years. His previous relationship was 5 years with someone who he ended up engaged to but he found out she was cheating on him pretty much the whole time.

I got around to admitting my feelings for this guy because honestly I thought the feelings were at least mutual and I don’t beat around the bush because games were never my thing. He said he likes me, he really does, but that he’s not quite ready and that frankly, I remind him of his ex. He specified that I don’t remind him of all the bad she has done, or how horrible she was, but that I remind him of the way she was when they first met: “so caring, sweet, over loving”. He said that it honestly scared him because of how things went previously. And I later found out from a mutual that it actually triggers the hell out of him and destroys him inside just how much I truly remind him of her. (The mutual informed me of this after an incident that I won’t disclose but it led to him breaking down pretty bad in a group setting.)

One mutual basically informed me that I’m his “kryptonite” and another told me I need to cut my losses and not make myself so available to him because of everything. So now we don’t speak at all. I don’t know if we ever will talk again. I still have some of his things.

And I’m okay if not talking is what is best for him because at the end of the day, I don’t ever want to be a negative in his life. But I can’t lie and say it doesn’t kill me inside because I honestly want to give that man the world. I’ve heard his life stories, I started to understand the things that made him who he was. I don’t want to fix him, it’s not my place. But I would’ve shared the burdens where I could and love him endlessly through every season of his life.

And he knows that. But i have the feeling that if he sees so much of her in me, I never stood a chance. And I don’t know what to do besides leave it be unless he reaches out.