Discouraged af

First got my nipt test around 10 weeks was told girl. I was so excited becaus i already have 2 boys. Turns out it was wrong. Found at at 20 weeks its another boy... then found out he has 1 functioning kidney and will need heartsurgery as well... all this and hes measuring small in the 8th percentile. Im so upset and angry with God..im trying so hard to keep faith. But i am getting the opposite of what i prayed for and i cant help but wonder why. Now they want me to get even more genetic testing to see if anything else was wrong. And i just dont see a point anymore.