Ive been married for 9 years now and we have two sons, with a baby girl on the way. Ive always had a difficult relationship with my mother in law. She is intrusive and tactless, and was very controlling of my husband for many years. Obviously when we got married, we started drawing a lot more boundaries and she did not like it. My mom passed away a month after our wedding, and she immediately started pressuring my husband for children. He explained I was going through a grieving period, and since we were only 31 and spent a lot of years training for our careers, we wanted to spend a few years traveling and building a foundation first. She immediately got agitated about our decision to wait, and called up my husband's father (they are divorced but still friends), and started venting behind my back. She made a bunch of assumptions including that I must be infertile, and stated that she knew my husband shouldn't have married me because he would be throwing away his chance at children. Fast forward a few years and I get pregnant naturally without difficulty. She started back pedaling and I made her promise she would never discuss my fertility again behind my back. I explained it was an intimate and personal topic, and not for her to be discussing. Before my second son was born, she started acting intrusive again and telling us how to raise our 1st kid, so we cut her off for a good stretch of time. Basically, before we were willing to speak to her again we made it clear she needed to stop judging our choices. She again promised to back off, and did for a while. 

We decided last year we wanted to have one more kid. Unlike our last two attemps, we were having a hard time. We underwent testing and found out my husband had developed male factor infertility out of nowhere. So we proceeded with <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>, and fortunately I had excellent egg reserve and a great outcome. Because we have two sons, we chose to implant a female embryo, which was successful. We were very happy with our results, but this was a very difficult, expensive, and painful road. Even though I got my desired sex, I would have chosen the natural route in a heartbeat if that had been an option. When we announced the pregnancy to our family, we did not talk about the <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>. I was concerned about my MIL passing judgement and I felt it was a personal and difficult journey that I didn't want to share with anyone I didn't think would be compassionate. She usually gets medical details wrong and spreads misinformation, so I just wanted to enjoy my pregnancy without a discussion. Well, she immediately called up her ex husband again and first question to him was "did you know about this?" Did they do <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> to make sure it was a girl?" He told them he knew nothing, but did let my husband know that she was hunting around for that information. My husband found it annoying, but sort of minimizes it. I'm absolutely livid. I feel what she is doing is such a ridiculous invasion of my privacy. Asking my FIL about my body and my fertility choices. Even if she had suspicions, wouldn't you just keep that to yourself? Who goes around to other family members seeking that information?

Am I wrong? My husband doesn't want me to confront her because he doesn't want conflict. But I feel this is pretty toxic.