I’m 18 weeks pregnant with my second baby. My first just turned 9 months old. I feel like he’s already in his terrible twos and he’s so mobile and chasing him around all day while cleaning

is killing me. My husband works 1-10pm so I’m doing the grunt of it alone, and I do bedtime and my son takes over an hour to go to sleep, meanwhile I have to stay with him until he does or he goes ballistic. He then only sleeps for 3 hours and I’m so so tired and I’m irritable. I’m a diagnosed bipolar but the hormones and lack of sleep have made it worse and I feel resentment towards my son and my husband and I don’t want to. I want this second baby more than anything I love her so much but I’m terrified of having two and doing it alone most of the day. How do I cope with my feelings in a healthy way? I don’t want to be angry at my sweet baby boy or my husband. I want to be excited for our growing family but part of me wishes she would just stay in there indefinitely and the weeks are going by so much faster than my first pregnancy. I need more help from my husband but I don’t know how to ask that without feeling ungrateful. We also have zero help from either of our families. My moms only met my boy once and my husbands mom seems to favor our nieces (her granddaughters) more. Idk if it’s because they’re girls or what but I’ve had 8 hours of break where she babysat for me, while she takes our nieces at least once a week and I feel like an outsider to both sides of our families. I need help. I need a break. I’m so scared that if I stay on this path I’ll develop ppd worse than I did with my first. How do I deal with this on my own