I’m currently 22, turning 23 in a month. I have 2 toddlers with the guy I dated all of my teenage years. After getting pregnant with my second, he turned physically abusive. When she was born, he choked me in front of her. Then left when she was a couple months old and I haven’t heard from him at all. I live with my parents because I also was assaulted multiple times at jobs I had and it destroyed my mental health. I recently started feeling a lot better, and was paying off bills that I had to be able to get an apartment without worrying about unnecessary expenses.

About a year and a half ago, I got involved with this guy from a job I had. I was attracted to him because of how he portrayed himself to be a good person and portrayed himself to want to help me through trauma. But over time, he showed his evil colors. He’s abused me in basically every way, except financially. He’s controlling - wanted my location, always asks what I’m doing and who I’m with, doesn’t like my clothes. He’s raped me. He bullied me into quitting my job. He’s thrown things at me. He’s yelled at me. I finally convinced myself a week or so ago to just get away from him.

I’m 2 days away from my period. Today my brother announced him and his wife are having their first. Something just felt off and I decided to take a test. Positive right away. I feel like I have no one to talk to. I already feel so embarrassed that I’m on my third, with no safe/reliable partner, having allowed men to abuse me, still living with my parents. I feel like I’m just a loser. I was so excited to start a life away from abusive men and now I’m just further in the hole. I was on birth control too and he pulled out 💔