I can't handle my son's behavior anymore

I'm so tired and have no idea what to do. My son is 12 almost 13 and his behavior has just gotten worse and worse. A school psychologist said my son is mentally closer to 7 than 12. He's extremely rude. He has bad anger issues. Last school year he strangled a kid because the kid said he and another girl would be cute together but he didn't like her and got mad. He will also just shit his pants. Constantly. He tells me he doesn't know he has to go. We've been to the doctor and there's nothing physically wrong with him we're he wouldn't know he has to go. He also won't get up to pee at night and pisses the bed. I'm so stressed out with him. He has been diagnosed with CPTSD because I made some bad decisions and became an alcoholic when he was really young and got arrested because I drove drunk and hit someone with my car. They didn't die. But we're badly hurt. Since I wasn't able to care for him he was in the system for a few years. He was super young when he went in so he doesn't remember being in the system. For years I've been trying to help him on my own because that's what a mother is supposed to be able to do but he seems to be getting worse. Not better. Besides giving in and putting him in therapy so they can just medicate him to death idk what else to do