I am 22, a lesbian and have a body count of 3. But, I have never had any successfully actually have penetrating sex with me.

I don’t count myself as a virgin, as a lesbian, I have done plenty of things I feel if a straight person did, they would not be considered a virgin. I’ve rode people’s faces, I’ve scissored, i’ve had orgasms. But, I’ve never had anyone successfully be able to use their fingers inside me, or a toy or any sort.

It’s incredibly embarrassing, and makes me feel like I’m broken. I feel like I’m missing out on an aspect of sex everyone my age has tackled years and years before this.

I like to put down this fact to having good sexual partners who, not having a penis!, haven’t pressured me into anything that may have caused me discomfort or stress. However, I feel like this has also left me feeling no pressure or reason to do it at all. But I want to. I’m 22, and have had I think, plenty of sex in my life so far, with 3 good partners. However now as a single girl, I’m wanting to explore my sexuality, and this one thing is stopping me.

I’d also like to add, since starting my periods at age 15, I have never been able to use a tampon either. The amount of boxes of tampons I have emptied unsuccessfully is ridiculous! You’d think i’d be a pro by now, but at age 22, having just had my period and failed yet again, i’m feeling completely broken.

Both of these things combined, leave me feeling completely awful. I’m 22, I would consider myself an attractive and stylish girl, as I’ve been told by people and how I feel about myself. But I just can’t get over this hurdle. I feel such a bad relationship with that part of myself, and every year I think, maybe I’ll get a tampon in this time! Maybe my partner will be able to fuck me once and for all! But it just never happens.

I’ve considered I have vaginismus, vulvodynia, and I’m aware that a lot of it is probably psychological now. But waiting lists in the UK are years long, sexual therapists are incredibly expensive.

I feel like Im a broken women, and I feel so nervous when I’m around anyone I may have sex with due to this issue. I’m 22 and want to enjoy my life whilst i’m young. But I can’t even get a finger or a tampon inside me. What is wrong with me?

Does anyone have any similar experiences or know what I can do to move past this?