Do it single or Work things out? long read

LeAnn

When I (26F) met my (31M) boyfriend (in October) we admittedly had just prayed for God to step into our lives and make some dreams come true.

He prayed to meet his wife because we was ready to start a family, and stop wasting his time with so many women. (September)

And I prayed to meet my husband because I was ready to be loved the way I have always loved everyone around me. (August)

We both had goals we wanted to accomplish that would set us up for success and to be able to provide for our families once God had brought us together. Meeting each other so soon after these prayers felt like God himself had put us together.

Our first date lasted over 24hours… we met for coffee that morning and talked for 5 hours then we went to a restaurant to have lunch and spent another 1 and a bit there. He went to work and then we met up for drinks that night which turned into walks on the beach and falling asleep in his car. We got breakfast the next morning and have been together since.

We spoke about our prayers and what we were looking for that first day at lunch. Which for him was “I want a wife and kids because what other purpose does a man have if not to provide for his family”. He teases me in saying that my eyes widened and I slowly created space between us once he said this.

Fast forward to Christmas and we’re saying I love you and I can actually see myself making a life with this man and even having his children. BUT that would mean giving up my dream.

I was a pageant queen with a really strong chance of winning my international competition- you can’t have been married or pregnant to enter this pageant. I had been struggling with the idea of even entering because that organisation was starting to go down hill. So I prayed to God and asked him to “get me pregnant if he didn’t want me to go to this pageant”. Five months later, two lines.

By this time we’re living together and I thought he’d be beyond excited.

I went out super early for coffee and tea for me, left the test on the sink and wrote “hey daddy, the three of us have to talk” on the glass door in front of the toilet for when he woke up.

I don’t know exactly how he reacted because I was smiling so hard somewhere in line for coffee but one of the first things he said when I got back was “haha I guess that means no more [new] ass” and now I’m not even sure what he wants…

When we found out I was 6 weeks and gave him 3 weeks to decide if he wanted an abortion even though I’m against them I’m more against being a single mother and honestly I’ve had some suicidal thoughts if that’s to be my fate... He never gave me an answer.

Until I was 14 weeks and he randomly dropped a bomb on me and said to get one. I told him no. At this stage it’s not even an option in my mind.

I’m 17 weeks pregnant now and it’s looking like I might have to do this alone. Which sucks because I’m on a scholarship to start university in a month and could’ve been well on my way to starting my pageant journey YET he gets to still “pursue his dreams” even though he’s really not planning anything towards it.

He works three jobs and has always been there for me if I need him financially and tries his best to be a support to ME. It’s the emotional aspect that we are working out since he has only ever hooked up with women before and this is his first serious relationship, I’m feeling like I have to teach him HOW to be in a monogamous relationship (emotional and communication wise)

Should we try to work things out with?