I am a first-time mom and an elementary teacher, and I am going back to work next week… I am really struggling. I know all the things that people say to try and make you feel better about the transition, and I know that I need to go back to work, for both my mental health and our financial situation. I am excited to be at a new school, with a new group of kids, and to be getting back into routines. HOWEVER, I also realize that for the past 400 days, I have been the only person who has ever put my son down for his nap(s). I’ve been the only one choosing what he eats and when, or what outfit he wears in the morning. I don’t have any issue with “control”, and my mother is going to be taking care of him so I don’t have the anxieties that come along with leaving your baby with strangers (at a daycare). But I still found myself crying today as I held him before his afternoon nap, and again when he got tired in the afternoon and started to get cuddly.

Next week I am back to school but there are no kids yet, which is good because I haven’t been away from Joshua for longer than 3 hours, at least while he was awake, and I know I’m going to be a bit of a blubbery mess. 🥴 😅 My brain says “you’re not leaving him forever, or even for more than a day; you still have evenings and weekends, and you both NEED this”. But my heart is hurting and I can’t ignore that. What if he doesn’t want to come to me at the end of the day? What if he doesn’t remember me? (Irrational, I know, but still a thought).

So to all the working moms out there…what helped you with the transition back to work? Anything I can do to be proactive in this situation? I’m not cut out to be a stay-at-home mom, but this is the hardest thing I have had to do in a long time 😢😢