So my husband and I just found out we’re having a girl, we’re going back and forth about a baby shower. We have 2 year old boy and of course we had a shower for our first. As blessed as we were for how much gifts and diapers we received, my side of the family had made a nightmare for me. Long story short, my MIL and SIL (stepsister to my husband) offered to throw the baby shower, my mom was pissed and said she will just throw a separate one. It caused a bit of strain and that’s just one of the examples why we keep my family away from my husband’s because my family doesn’t know how to act. It comes down to the month of the baby showers, my mom was including my aunts in her party which led to some huge fight and made me reach to everyone to cancel hers and just invite everyone else to my husband’s side. It was so embarrassing and half of them didn’t even show up. But my MIL and SIL has a big family from their side so the party was huge and we gotten so lucky. I invited my father’s side to my husband’s because my mom and my aunts wanted nothing to do with my father’s side. This upset my mom and some of aunts, my mom was supposed to help with games but told me I should go do it, and then my aunts wouldn’t play the games and at first refused food. Then they said “we need to throw a better one” in front of my husband’s family. So last minute once again my mom made me send out an invite to her baby shower but ONLY her side of them family. And then my mom was trying to make my husband to ask my MIL to make food but not invite… she thought it would be ok as long as she would pay her. I said no we’re not gonna do that, so she ordered catering.

Again we’re grateful for all the gifts but the drama was too much it caused me to stay away from my mom’s side because how hurt I was. My husband’s family is so exited to have the first girl so they want to throw a shower but I don’t know what to do and my family will cause a strain someway. Plus I’m worried about judgement that we would be having another baby shower under 5 years (I’ve heard something that it’s inconsiderate to throw a 2nd shower under 5 years) something in that sense. I wish I can have a girl baby shower and not worry about my family but that seems impossible. Any advice??

To add: I was debating to just purchase whatever we don’t have and girl clothes on our own worse case scenario. Either way we are so excited to meet her 🩷