To make a long story short, my bf has an avoidant attachment style and anytime I brought up emotion or conflict it was dismissed. Over time this made me grow a lot of frustration feeling like he doesn’t care about my feelings and has caused me to blow up easily over smaller things that weren’t that significant.

I had a bad blow out a few months ago and I was drinking a lot which made it 100x worse. I was 100% wrong and lost control over my emotions. I joined an intensive outpatient program to learn to cope with my emotions better (a lot of therapy for those who aren’t familiar!) and did everything on my end to try to work this out with him. Him (being avoidant) said he acknowledges a lot of the issues stemmed from him but that he isn’t ready to work on it yet bc it seemed like it would be too stressful and bc he thinks he’s not capable of being better.

After a lot of back and forth over the last 3 months, I finally decided there was nothing more I could do and that I don’t deserve the way he has treated this situation so carelessly. It’s been two and a half weeks with zero contact and today I get this text. I still love him and want to be with him in a perfect world, but it would be hard for me to truly believe he loves me and wants to grow for this after being so careless over this situation. My heart is so big and I always see the good in people but I know if i did want this to work I can’t go running back to him yet. I need him to know im serious about not wanting to be with him if he isn’t committing to growth and if I go running right back to him so soon he has nothing to want to work for.

Anyways, just sharing here so I can vent. Probably going to respond something short and sweet along the lines of “im glad you’re seeking help and I hope it works out for you”, but open to hearing suggestions bc truly idk what the best way to approach this is. Thank you all in advance 💕