Hi all, I have just a few days ago found out I am pregnant at 40, very early, around 4 weeks I think, I am feeling so confused as to what to do. The father is 27, we have always been good friends, and care about each other, sometimes the lines blurred over the years and recently we once again ended up in bed.

I had been told around 6/7 years ago that I may struggle to conceive due to cysts that had shown up on a well woman scan, I was at the time in a very abusive relationship, so when I fell pregnant naturally, I had an abortion, I was 33 but knew I was not making the right decision. I took it as a message from God that despite being told and conditioned to believe I was barron that I would infact one day be able to become a mother with the right person. Fast forward those years, and I am 40, I had half accepted that I had probably missed my opportunity, yet as I sit here starting a new job today, and with a 27 year old who doesn’t want a baby, and who im not madly in love with, I don’t know what to do, I know this could be my last last chance to be a mother, something I think would be the making of me, but not in a great position financially or mentally, I don’t know what to do, what is worse, to live with resentment and regret for having or not having. Im doubting myself that I can do this alone, and feel awful that the father is also now in a position of fear and potential resentment towards me if I choose to go ahead, we are on two different pages in life, but he also says although he doesn’t want he would still want to be involved 50/50, but would prefer me to have an abortion. I don’t have my family around me, just a few great friends, who all say I must have this baby it will be the greatest blessing and complete me, I have always felt abandoned and unloved and always wanted to build the family life I never had and give my child the love I didn’t receive, do things so very differently. I just don’t know what to do, I have always put others needs and wants above my own and I’m feeling the pressure to not ruin the life of the father who I do care for and is a good guy in comparison to my abusive exes. I am so confused.

Would I cope alone, how would I afford this baby alone with just 9 months to prepare and a new job to conceal it from, let alone some money issues that I am recovering from due to my past relationships financially destroying me. I

Don’t know what to do, any advice would be appreciated x