A couple of months ago, in spring, I got into a one-sided argument with my stepdad after he had drank almost a whole case of beer all by himself. It wasn’t unusual if he was getting wasted on a random Tuesday, I was actually more chocked if he wasn’t drinking. My mom’s three last exes have all been alcoholics. Both me and my younger brother have been very vocal about how we feel about my mom’s choice in partners, but she has never listened. She got engaged to her ex fiancé even when she knew he had a drinking problem. He also snooped around in my closet to look for money, which he found in my piggy bank and stole from 15 year old me. Now she’s yet again engaged to an alcoholic. The fight was started by him and I had not done anything wrong, I was completely shocked when he started yelling at me. I had accidentally locked the front door where my mom and stepdad were lounging. I don’t remember what he said to me, but his screaming went on for about an hour until I broke down crying and left to go to my boyfriend’s. We moved in together shortly after that because I didn’t want to be there anymore. They apologised and went on like nothing happened. My mom never stood up for me or tried to intervene. She let him yell at me for absolutely no reason at all until I had enough.

That’s not the first time she’s hurt me. Throughout my preteens she would constantly sexualise me. I would wear shorts or crop tops and she would tell me “If I looked like you I would dress more like a wh0re, you have the body for it so dress more like a slut”. She would do it in front of people, in front of family and in front of my stepdad. She even said to him “wow she looks so good, don’t you think her body’s amazing?”. Her constantly commenting and sexualising me eventually led me to getting eating disorders and low self esteem. When I broke up with my ex after he cheated on me, she asked me whose fault the breakup was: “Be honest, was it your fault? Cause sometimes you act like a bitch so it wouldn’t surprise me” and she laughed.

My brother moved far away as soon as he graduated high school. Then I was the only kid left at home with her and her drunk ex fiancé. My brother never called or visited her, but frequently visited our dad. When I was going away to friends or to my dad’s she would always guilt trip me into staying at home with her. She would go on about how my brother never visits, how both her parents are dead and how she doesn’t have any friends, and that i am the only one who’s always there for here. Ultimately, I would feel bad about leaving her and stayed at home with her.

All I wanted was to vent about my mom and get confirmation on that i’m doing the right thing by breaking contact with her.