I just came here to vent a bit and give a shout out to all you who are actively trying to conceive because I don't know how you do it and stay sane!!

I came here to tell my story so I can get it out of my brain. I told no one any of this, I guess that's why I just wanted to write about it and move on with my life lol. If you stick around and read all of it, thank you! If not I don't blame you. 😂

I'm a single mom of two wonderful boys who I raise completely alone. My oldest was an oops at only 20 years old. I was dumb and didn't use protection and his dad left a long time ago.

My youngest is adopted and I took him in as an infant.

I love kids and always wanted 4 of them but I thought I'd have a partner and well that just hasn't happened. And I have no interest in raising any more kids alone as it is not financially responsible.

With that being said I do occasionally date and have "friends" because well, a girls gotta eat lol. Two weeks ago I hung out with a guy and we slept together. We used a condom so I wasn't worried at all. But then about 6 days later I started feeling very similar to how I did when I was pregnant with my son.

A racing heart while sitting still, heart burn , hypersensitive smell, stuff like that.

And I thought there is no way right?! We used a condom...but I was ovulating and I'm not on birth control....so maybe? So I spent almost the whole last week totally convinced I was pregnant. I read into every little thing. My boobs were sore, I was so emotional and lashing out at my kids. I almost bought a pregnancy test last night just knowing it would be positive but I told myself to wait until my period was due (tomorrow)

Well... I woke with my period this morning and I have been SO emotional all day. Crying on and off. Like I don't understand why? I wasn't trying and it would be so hard having another right now. I barely know the guy and I'd have to find a bigger place to live. I mean I'm 33 now and I could make it work but it would make life so much harder.

All this is to say, shout out to all of you who go through this all the time while ttc. Because that week and half of constant wonder and worry and then the let down (when I wasn't even trying or wanting it) is SO stressful. Now I need to just resume my life as normal and move on. 🤦😂 Man being a woman is hard!!

But baby dust to the ones trying. Good luck!! 🤞