Nearly two years ago I got a surgical abortion and it was by far the most traumatic, regrettable experience of my life thus far. I was 17, confused (in all aspects; finances, relationships, social life, career,..) and I didn’t have enough time to make a decision, so I went with the “easiest” option at the time, which has in turn, ruined my life. I think about it everyday, all the time, It’s debilitating. I had to get put under today to get my wisdom teeth removed (the first time I’ve had any kind of anesthesia since my abortion) and I felt extremely triggered by everything; the room, the IV, the smell, the surgeon… I woke up in tears just like how I woke up when I got my abortion and It felt like a reopened wound. I know it sounds dumb that I feel uneasy about this since both procedures are very different but I had a panic attack and don’t know what went on with me. My assigned nurse was sooooo supportive and was very validating which I’m endlessly grateful. She did breathing exercises with me, held my hand and gave me tissues. However, I felt crazy and exposed for reacting the way I did. I should also mention that I get nightmares every single night that have drastically affected my mental health and waking life. I’ve done quite a bit of research on the correlation between PTSD and abortion but it’s relatively low and doesn’t show enough prominence in the case of PTSD. However, when I woke up today from my teeth operation, I felt the same way I did when I went through with the abortion. I’d really appreciate some ressources, articles or advice from any women who may have an idea with what’s going on with me and why I reacted the way I did today. If you think I’m going crazy that’s perfectly fine as well lol I just need some sort of external explanation to make sense of this. Thank you in advance I really appreciate it. 💞