tw: abortion

i was diagnosed with pcos at the beginning of this year… i’ve really struggled with my periods for years and am glad i’m finding out some answers. when my bf and i got together 3 years ago i found out he was still sleeping with his ex gf when i found out i was pregnant… i opted for an abortion. i already have a child that doesn’t see their father. he said it was up to me and has thrown it in my face today…. he told me god was punishing me… i am so heartbroken. i think i’ve always had pcos. i miscarried years ago. struggled to conceive my first child.. i don’t think i’m being punished…. im just at a loss..