I met up with an ex recently. We were both horribly toxic for one another and we shouldn’t have even been talking, but both our marriages are in shambles so we made the wise choice to reach out. We made the dumb decision to be toxic once again with each other. We met at a hotel and went to our room together. At the beginning everything was fine, we were enjoying something we hadn’t had together in 10 years. Well then I had a moment of realization and began to think about how awful this was to us and our spouses so I told him to stop. His mood flipped on a switch and he just went harder. I kept telling him to stop and he wouldn’t. I was trying to push him off, but it wasn’t doing a thing. He started ranting about how I’m a tease and he’s been missing this for years and he wasn’t going to let me stop him from getting it. Even went as far to say he’d kill me to finish what he wanted if needed. At that point I just stopped begging and cried while he did what he wanted because I was scared for my life. When he was done he simply gathered his things and left. I tried to get myself together after he left. I realized he’d never put the condom on. I took myself to the pharmacy the next morning and bought plan b. I’ve been sitting here the last 2 weeks thinking about how this has to be my fault on a level right? I let him back into my life, so is this the punishment I deserve. I also just took a pregnancy test and the plan b didn’t work. So f me right?