I've been in my step son's life since he was 10. He's 16 now. He mainly lived with his mom at first. He started living with us after she passed away 3 years ago. I have a half brother who I didn't really grow up around much. We didn't start being in each other's lives until our teen years. When my step son was 14 my brother molested him. I had no idea my brother was that type of person. I would NEVER have had him around children or even been in his life had I known that. The whole situation caused a lot of conflict with my family because they took my brother's side. When police were involved my own mom said the only way he would have done something like that is if he was tempted. Which is fucking gross. I feel like he lumped me in with his family because then he started despising me even though I NEVER took my brother's side. My husband put him in therapy but it doesn't seem to help him much. He flat out disrespects me. Will not do anything I asked and today called me a bitch. All I asked was he turn down his music because my toddler was trying to nap. He didn't. My husband got on to him and he said "Of course you'll pick that bitch and her family over me!" I do not know what to do anymore. I have been nothing but supportive since that happened. I don't know if he just sees my brother in me or he thinks I set him up on purpose or what. I'm lost and don't know where to turn for help. My husband gets conflicted in these situations because he tries to balance discipline with compassion because of what he's been through and I know my husband is trying but constantly being disrespected when I did nothing wrong is taking a toll on my own mental health.

Edit: I've cut ties with MOST of my family. My parents gets more complicated because I have a little sister who is the same age as my step son. I want to still keep in contact with her but since she's underage it means keeping my parents in my life until she's 18. As for sitting down and just us talking, that's also complicated because I did not want to overstep. I would ask him how he's doing to check in. My husband took over all stuff involving his mental health. Then he started to hate me and didn't want to talk to me so I respected his boundaries but said he always could.