Is he just not that into me?

So I’m after a bit of advice or personal experiences as I can’t work out what’s going on.My husband and I have been together for 12 years and we have 4 children together and have always had a very good sex life. He assures me that I am good enough, he finds me attractive etc but then in the next breath he wants us to consider swinging and suggests I should go shop at Victoria secret. The other night he rejected me wanting to have sex and then went on to watch porn look into swinger sites and self relieve but told me he wasn’t keen?

Can you blame me for being so confused?