I don’t believe my friend’s relationship

This is a very touchy subject…

One of my best friends has been in a relationship for almost a year, and I do not support it. I’m torn because he is a very good guy and is good to her, but I don’t believe she actually loves him like she says she does.

For some background information, my friend is the type of girl to feel left out when she’s not in the same life phase as the rest of our friends, and most of us are married or in very serious relationships. She tends to get a little performative and competitive when it comes to relationships. I think she is constantly trying to prove to her friends that she is exactly where we are in life too.

She has called me multiple times over the course of her relationship with this guy to tell me she isn’t sure about him and wants to break up, but she never goes through with it and always acts as if nothing happened when I ask her how it’s going. She most recently called me last month terrified that he was going to propose and saying she’s not ready. I was even caught off guard because she loves talking about marrying this guy and wedding planning. I think maybe she wants the wedding and to be married more than she wants HIM. A week or so later, I asked how she was feeling about the whole situation and she acted as if she had no idea what I meant and they are completely in love with each other and hoping to get engaged soon.

She also tends to send me texts and photos about their flirtations and innuendos/jokes, hickeys, etc. It feels as if she is trying to prove to me that she’s attracted to him. In her previous relationships, she didn’t send me “evidence.”It also feels like something that would have been cool to talk about with friends when we were in our wild college party girl days, but we’re older and more settled now, so it feels very immature, performative, and frankly uncomfortable.

Since we are so close, I want to support her and just be her cheerleader. The guy is wonderful and treats her SO well… I just do not believe she is actually into him because of all the hiccups and doubts she has made me privy to and the constant stream of texts and photos about their relationship.

I’m married, and a lot of our friends are married or close to it. I just think that at our age and in this phase of life, a solid relationship doesn’t need to be flaunted or proven to anyone else. It’s one thing to have a fun gab session with the girls and another to randomly send people detailed messages or content about your intimacy. I probably never would’ve doubted her feelings or attraction to him if she didn’t send me so many things that feel like she’s trying to prove something.

I don’t know if I should say anything to her. I don’t want her to settle for this guy just because she wants to be married so badly. But I don’t want to risk losing our friendship if I’m wrong.