AITA for being upset?

Question

I’ve been on my own since 2023 as I’m an only child and my parents have passed a year ago, so it’s my first year celebrating the holidays alone and my boyfriend knows this. Last week, I asked my boyfriend to bring me a plate of food for Thanksgiving (today) and he agreed. I am not a picky eater, just don’t eat goat (he is Jamaican it’s a staple in their culture) and let him know I’ll eat anything that’s not that and he tells me not to worry because he will bring me food. Days later, I remind him. Today, I asked him when he’s bringing it because I only had breakfast and a light lunch at break to prepare myself for what he brings and this is his response. Of course im upset. We had a conversation about this and I reminded him. It’s the holidays so I was trying to avoid getting upset, because honestly I will be regardless since I’m alone.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone 🩷

Accepted Answer

No one’s the asshole. This is just a simple miscommunication

Answer

I’m sorry he was super insensitive to you!! The fact he didn’t think to invite you over with him but leave you alone on a holiday knowing you have no family is kind of a red flag for me. He should have brought you something without you asking!!

Answer

I'm not sure if it was a miscommunication or if he is simply not doing what he said he would do. I understand being disappointed about that. I think instead of being mad at him about it, try telling him really what you need. I think deep down maybe you just want to be cared for and not so alone today. It's OK to actually say that to him. He might understand better and follow through on what he said he would do if you communicated your underlying feelings to him. ￼

Answer

Sometimes it's the little things that demonstrates a man's character and his regard of you. Take heed in how he fails to do the smallest things for you and then fails to apologize for it.

Answer

I think his showing you who he is, it’s up to you whether you believe him

Answer

Honestly you should’ve been invited to his Thanksgiving not having anyone to celebrate with.

Answer

You’re probably just hypersensitive right now. If he has not lost someone close to him he just doesn’t understand. I wouldn’t worry about the food and see if you can spend time together or do some self care for yourself. Sorry for your loss.

Answer

I don’t think you’re being sensitive I think he’s being insensitive and careless towards you. If you guys already discussed this and he agreed to bring anything by but goat then he’s showing his true color and priorities. Even if all they had was just plain goat he still could’ve communicated that and asked if he could have picked up anything on the way or tell you to cook something for yourself or get yourself something instead of letting you think he was coming through with the agreement you both and made. Sorry for your loss.

Answer

So, do you know what all they had there and do you know that there was even leftovers left? What if most of the dishes were infused with goat, especially since you acknowledged goat being a staple item in their culture? If most of the items had goat and he brought you a skimpy plate with items that didn’t have goat…would you have been mad that there was barely anything there? He said he would bring you a plate before he got there. Maybe he anticipated there to be more options. I’ve been to dinners where nobody left with leftovers and I’ve been to places where people took multiple plates home. I don’t think it’s that deep but of course it’s not me in the situation. I feel like I would’ve asked more questions to gain a better understanding instead of getting upset.

Answer

My family is jamaican and im not saying most jamaican men are like that but yes you can have that conversationwith them in-person then they will swear god off the crossthat they never spoke to you about that i dealwith that on dailywith my father and when he does that its his way of saying he isnt or wasnt planning on doing it to begin with  but then will get mad with you if you did what he just did and will bring up how he never did something like this to you so yeah no your nta from my pov