Was prioritizing my marriage a mistake?

Question

All I have is my husband. I don't have my children. One of my children passed away. The other two abandoned me. The last words my daughter ever ever said to me was "Fuck God. Fuck the church. And Fuck you." She went to find her brother. My eldest ran away at 17. My husband got angry at him 2 yrs before because of disrespect and burnt his face on the stove. I stayed with my husband because I always believed you're a wife first. I prioritized my marriage and decided my husband just needed help. We went to the priest for counseling but my son refused to move on. My husband never did anything like that again but my son refused to forgive even with therapy. Then he ran away at 17. My second baby left a few years after that when she was 18 and I lost my youngest daughter 3 years ago. My kids are 25 and 28. I haven't seen my son in over a decade and haven't seen my daughter since she was 18. All I have is my husband. I'm unhappy. I'm depressed. Neither of my children follow God anymore and it's my fault. Ive asked myself if this is the price I pay for my sins. All my feelings hit the moment I hit menopause. I was in denial for a while. But now I know I'll never be able to have another child and be a mother again. I don't even feel like mother now. I'm a mother to a box of ashes and estranged from my children. I don't think I've ever been more unhappy.

Answer

The day he hurt your son was the day you should have left. What were you even thinking? That’s a child you gave birth to, your responsibility is to live and protect them from harm. I can’t believe someone could be this foolish

Answer

Youre not a wife first when it comes to your children being abused (or, you being abused for that matter). Twisting scripture to minimize abuse or stay with an abuser isnt okay. Your kids needed you to protect them. Im guessing your son's therapist was part of whatever religion you are as well because a legit therapist would have reported the abuse as required by law and your husband would have gone to jail. So you basically took your son to 'therapy' to try to get him to do and feel the way you wanted and to 'fix him' but the problem wasnt him, it was his parents and a religious system protecting an abuser. Your priest was also a mandated reporter and obviously didnt report it. So of course your kids left you and hate religion. If you want any hope of reconnecting youd need to make a major overhaul on your life and apologize with no excuses. It may be too little too late on their end, but maybe youd be happier with a new start on your own life.

Answer

well.. you get what you deserve 🤷🏽‍♀️ your kids are better off without you

Answer

You lost me as soon as you said your husband burned your sons face on a stove and you chose to stay with him. He tried to kill your son and you STAYED WITH HIM and then expected your son to just forgive him just because he got counseling? Youre a disgusting excuse for a mother and im glad for your children that they got out as soon as they could. Of course they dont follow God anymore. Who would follow a God that allows children to be brutally scarred like that? "OH he just needs help" YOUR CHILDREN NEEDED HELP. They needed their mother and their mother showed them that she did not care about them enough to get them to safety away from the man who hurt them. You dont deserve your children.

Answer

Youre not a mother. A mother would have left the second he hurt her baby. And thats some apocalypse type evil right there. As a christian, i try to be gracious and fogiving, but you didnt JUST make a mistake staying with him, youre actually almost as bad as your husband. I draw the line at hurting anyones child, not just mine. But if it were mine, and my husband did that to my kid, i would've attacked him. I mean, i would have clawed his eyes out just so he could never even look at them again. You made your bed lady. You can lie in it.

Answer

Yes it was a huge mistake. There’s a very thin line when it comes to putting your spouse first. It doesn’t mean put your spouse on a throne and leave your kids to fend for themselves. You’ve got it completely wrong unfortunately. You were supposed to love, nurture, teach, and protect your babies. Your husband was supposed to do the same for his family and he wasn’t. You cannot just follow one verse in the Bible and run with that and use it to excuse wrongdoings. As long as you are living you can ask for forgiveness and you can work on yourself.

Answer

This might sound harsh but truth often hurts. You made the decisions that lead to these circumstances. Hindsight is a bitch but this is the consequences. It sounds like you need to get therapy to work on the depression and mental health but also to gain some perspective and empathy for your children who have suffered abuse under your care. Your children are estranged for a reason, nobody wants to be estranged from their parents, it’s for their own peace and protection. They had no choice but to follow your religion and rules while under your care but those things obviously don’t align with them as adults and they should be allowed to live their lives without judgement.

Answer

You should be a protective mother before a wife, you made your choice now must live with the consequences

Answer

Are you still involve in your faith?

Answer

Good , u got what u deserved. At least u realize youre a horrible human being for abdondoming your kids for a man and a cult.

Was prioritizing my marriage a mistake?

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