Preganant! Nervous!

Im like 7 and half weeks with #6 and im 37. The boobs are staying big and sore and i usually stay nauseous and stuff but in those few minutes or so i actually get a break and am not then i start thinking baby isnt in there anymore. Then i wanna freak out lol i go tomorrow for my first appointment so i guess im just a lil freaked and nervous. Especially at my age. I feel old. My youngest just turned 4 last month. The symptoms make it feel real. So when im not feeling them i feel like its not gonna happen. We were undecided about 1 more so we just left it to fate. Lol im very irregular. I think we were just waiting for it to happen and now that it has im kinda scared. Ive been so blessed with 5 great births. Im scared this time i wont be as lucky. My first son passed away at 2 months. Even after this many kids its still very scary. Sorry for the long post i just needed to vent to someone.