Is my husband full of it ?

Question

My husband is a gamer  got caught text messaging a girl he used to play with online gaming sexually and very inappropriate in August 2024. We were still trying to get past it and me trying to forgive. He says she came out of nowhere and started logging back in. Anyways he deleted her and that was that. A few days ago another girl popped up that he used to play with and he was messaging her but they were talking about how this girl was flirty back then (they were teenagers) and how they two also. Flirted alittle. I got upset because although they were flirting with each other I felt the conversation was not appropriate and given our recent issue I didn’t like it. Well I allow him to talk to his friend because I’m trying to give him more credit and I found out they were playing game Together and they were on the phone for 2 hours (him and all of has gamer friends would talk on discord app and call on it while playing so it’s nothing new or weird) for some reason I got upset and really mad because I told him I was comfortable with him messaging other women that I don’t know and he thinks I’m doing too much and stated he didn’t know or forgot I said that and keeps on trying to defend himself. I then was childish and screenshot me pretending to send a message to a guy I knew in high school that has a crush on me  and sent to him and he got UPSET… I told him see now you can see where I’m coming from but idk am I’m being too overbearing ? Or does he just not care?

Answer

I’m all for allowing people to have friendships with the opposite gender. As long as you trust that person isn’t going to cross a line. And that’s what your husband is doing. So he needs to stop with the conversations since he can’t control himself and behave appropriately.

Answer

He’s the problem. Married men have no business behaving like a single man. That means spending hours talking to female non-relatives. Having conversations about other women they had sexual relations with. Flirting, etc. It’s wrong.

Answer

Creating a fake screenshot was a terrible idea, and I hope it doesn't hurt your credibility in this relationship going forward. If you feel uncomfortable with him talking to "gamer girl", just tell him that. If he's fighting with you to talk to the female, ask him why that relationship is so important to him. More importantly, ask him if that relationship is more important to him than his relationship with you.

Answer

The fake text to another guy was immature but understandable too. I just wouldn't stay with someone i can't trust. Its not worth the wondering and the hurt and paranoia. I refuse to live like that again. If they cant respect your boundaries on a smaller scale, then they won't respect about the bigger things either.

Answer

Ugh it’s not you. I hate that we blame ourselves for our partners shitty behaviour. This IS something to be overbearing about (imo) it’s quite disrespectful and he should not be doing it- stand up for yourself and tell him to stop and that he’s crossing a huge line.. it’s not even a thin line of chatting with someone he used to game with (that’s harmless), but that he’s making sexual comments! This is something that needs to be dealt with!

Answer

Gross. He shouldn't be talking to other women at all. I'd leave over this, especially because he's showing you he doesn't care how you feel about it & his history of emotionally cheating.

Answer

Nope not over bearing… it’s time to leave he has no respect for you at all!!!

Answer

Leave him.

Is my husband full of it ?

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