Finally Broke Up With the Big Bad Wolf

Two weeks ago I finally broke up with my boyfriend of a year and a half. At first I felt sad which I couldn’t understand because I initiated the breakup but eventually I started to feel much better. My ex was honest not a good person for several reasons. Firstly he was ridiculously cheap. At first I didn’t want to blame him cause I made much more income than him and he has a child he has to support so that naturally means less money for him which is completely understandable…but let me tell yall. He used to buy lunch with my card whenever we’d hang out whether it was online or in person… Image someone asking you if you’re hungry and you say “a little” then they make a suggestion which you agree then they say “okay, give me your card”’. Now I’m a firm believer that women can sometimes pick up the bill every now and then but this was ridiculous lol. Not to mention I booked us two vacation this year alone and I mostly paid for everything and he always did the bare minimum and would complain if he had to dive the most. Okay let’s move on. Next he was super weird. I lost my virginity to him which was an ok moment to say the least (he was good at finishing but never good at making me finish), afterwards he immediately makes me get up and meet his grandmother who goes on and on about a random topic meanwhile I’m kinda in pain from everything that just occurred and he was sitting there like everything was normal. Also he was bad at hearing the words “no” especially when it came to sex. He would always ask if I wanted to do certain sexual things that I was either not comfortable with or not not ready for. I would say no and I thought that would be that but he would badger me again and again until I said yes. I would mostly just say yes because the constant asking would make me feel bad and question if I was doing too much. Once he asked for snap which I definitely wasn’t comfortable with because I had just lost my virginity three weeks prior and naturally I told him no. We had been spooning which led to some grinding and he took that as an opportunity to do it anyways and I cried from pain because it hurt so bad. Till this day I can still taste the pain. By the end of our relationship I realized that he wasn’t the one. for me whatsoever and that I was mostly with him because I was afraid to start over. Near our end we had a conversation about him thinking I thought too much of myself. He said I wasn’t a goddess or an entity and that I needed to realize that I was just human which I never denied I wasn’t. I just like putting myself on a pedestal to remind myself that I’m worth things. Luckily for me I don’t need a man to make me feel worth anything but it was a little funny to see him try ti make me feel less of myself lol. Lastly he made a comment on my PCOS and tried to make me feel as if I’ll never have a child of my own. He really pulled out all the tricks to kill my confidence but unfortunately he couldn’t succeed. There’s way more worse things about him and if you like to know feel free to ask but I just want to get to my point. I’m only 23 and I know life had more to offer than him, but even if I was 56 I know life is worth way more than staying in something for the convenience. I love myself and I’m extremely happy that I finally had the courage to let him go! And if anyone out there has this issue please remember to choose yourself first because you’re worth it; especially to me ❤️