My heart is broken. I doomed my marriage from the start and I don't know how to fix it. My husband found out something I never told him. It has to do with how we met in the beginning. It's complicated but I met him intentionally for a completely different reason and he didn't know that. I had ulterior motives but when I got to know him it changed. I saw the type of person he was and we became friends that turned into a relationship and we now have a 4 year old together.

Monday I needed help getting into this old email to get back into my old Etsy account. I was using my husband's phone because mine was dead and we trust each other. When I finally got the account back Google asks to copy everything from that email or whatever and I just said yes because I thought it may copy my Etsy account back so I could get into it. What I didn't know is when you do that it copies the whole phone when you do this so it changed my husband's wallpaper and stuff.

But it also copies over old text messages. So when my husband got his phone back he had stumbled across these text messages between me and someone from 2017. I understand why my husband was upset because it's more than me just having ulterior motives. It involved something legal he was going through.

He brought up these text messages to me and I denied at first because I'm stupid but then admitted. My husband wouldn't look at me and he said that I lied to him from the moment we met. I explained the second I started to actually like him I told that person I would be no part of it anymore but my husband pointed out that I had still told them things about him. I'm so sorry this is complicated. But he refused to look at me and I told him I love him and he asked how can I sit here and say that when I did what I did and then never even confessed. I begged him to forgive me and he was still refusing to look at me and said "How can you do what you did and ask me to forgive you?" He told me he didn't want to see my face and asked me to get out. I knew the right thing to do was leave. I am staying with my mom. My husband been ignoring my texts. He will answer my calls but give the phone to our 4 year old. For Christmas he's having Christmas morning with our 4 year old and bringing me my child after 12. I know what everyone said. You betrayed your husband. You made your bell now ly in it. I was wrong. I know I was wrong. I just wish he would listen to me. I made a bad mistake I really did and it may have cost me my family.

Edit: For mommaof4 I'll try to explain it the best I can because it can get confusing. My husband's mom was a teen mom but got kicked out and was homeless so my husband was taken away in foster care and they guilted her into signing away her rights.

My husband had one family he was with from 15-18 who abused him. Mainly the dad. He was beaten and the dad abused him sexually. After he left for college when he was 18 he finally decided to report it.

How I tie into this is I had a friend who reached out to me. She told me her father was being accused of some things he didn't do and that the guy goes to my college. So her dad and step mom were my husband's foster parents and her dad was the one that was arrested. I was 19 at the time and all she told me was he was being falsely accused and ask if I could try to find some stuff that could help their case. I was ignorant at that age and didn't understand how rare false rape accusations were. So I did and only did it for about 2 months. I made friends with him and I do feel so bad because some of the things I said her dad's lawyer did try to use against him like my husband having BPD. He told me that when we became closer. But her dad did end up serving time. It wasn't much time. Only 18 months. I stopped reporting to her what she told me when I got to know him and learned he was a good guy who lived an extremely hard life. I know why he is hurt. I completely betrayed him and never told him. His mom called me an hour ago to tell me to try to give him time and that's all I can do.