Am I being unrealistic by refusing to go to a baby shower for my mother-in-law's best friend's daughter whom I've never met, but apparently the mom-to-be needs "extra support"

My mother-in-law has a best friend who has a daughter in her early 30s. I have never met the daughter, and have only met the best friend a handful of times in 8 years.

My husband and I struggled to conceive and lost 4 babies (between 9-18 weeks pregnant) before having our daughter. It took us almost 14 years to have one child. It hurt that my mother-in-law wouldn't go to our baby shower and acted so flippantly about "having plans" which ended up just being dinner at Swiss Chalet with my father-in-law. The baby shower ended at 2pm and she would have had plenty of time to get to Swiss Chalet for dinner because it was in the same city. She just didn't want to go to my baby shower for whatever reason.

That was last year. My mother-in-law is pushing my husband and I to attend her best-friends daughter's baby shower. We politely declined because we don't know the mom-to-be and have no relationship with my mother-in-law's best friend. Then my mother-in-law said "She needs all the support she can get. It took her almost a year to get pregnant and then she miscarried the baby. This is her miracle baby."

That set me off and I had to leave the conversation. I told my husband that I'm sorry, but the invite came from his mom, not his mom's best friend. I told him if he really wants, we can send a gift but I'm not going to a baby shower for someone I don't know and have never met. He said no, we're not sending a gift because his mom wants us to go. If it's that important to the best friend, she would have sent us an invite but she didn't.

My mother-in-law is calling us heartless for not coming to the baby shower and showing our support and my husband just told her that we don't even know her best friend's daughter's name. We didn't even know she was pregnant. Also, why is it up to us to show support? Where was his mom showing support at our baby shower? And she disappeared whenever I was miscarrying too and said it was "too much to handle". That's fine, I can appreciate walking away, but you can't do that and then expect us to come to this baby shower for support.

Am I wrong?