Tw: SA rant.
Tw: mention of SA’d
Okay, I just need some support because the mind makes up crazy shit.
I was SA’d (graped) by my brother when I was 4 to 5 years old. I didn’t have the best upbringing and was taken away to live with my grandparents when I was 5-6.. my brother is 9 years older than me.
I never told anyone I was SA’d until I was 22 when I was starting getting physically active with my ex partner. I kept getting flashbacks where I would just cry and cry after sex. I told my grandmother and she basically told me to talk to my brother about it.. I got it at the time that getting this information is a lot for someone. My intention was to tell her I don’t ever want to see him again.
Years go by I’m in therapy and my grandmother still tries to get me to talk to my brother like everything’s fine and yadda yadda. And I tell her every time this happens that I don’t want a relationship with him. It’s done it’s over. She didn’t understand and tries to push. she thinks I’m “upset” at him because he yelled at me 3 years ago…
I’m getting so frustrated and every time I have to explain myself I spiral where I cry and cry, it’s not fair to me to have to keep reliving this.
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