We were almost 10 weeks

And I feel like I am grieving wrong.

My husband is inconsolable, all he has done is cry and shout, he has pagan beliefs so we're doing a ceremony, anything to help him process this.

I cried a lot as it was happening and now I'm not crying any more, three days later. I feel like I am wrong and defunct somehow because I don't feel overwhelmingly sad. I'm not happy either. I don't actually know how I feel to be honest. Mostly hollow.

I feel suffocated by my husband's grief but I want to be supportive because he is in so much pain and he wears those feelings very much outwardly. He has talked about not wanting to be here any more, and I understand he is upset but it still hurts when he is suggesting he has felt like killing himself in his grief.

He has asked if we can try again and I really have liked the idea of having a baby but after such heavy bleeding and feeling vulnerable when gynaes were poking around at my insides whilst I was bleeding all over the bed like a stuck pig, I don't know if I want to risk that again. I feel violated and traumatised.

I hate this and it all feels wrong and I feel very lost. We were TTC 2 years before one "stuck". This was a very wanted pregnancy for both of us.

Please tell me these feelings are normal because I feel guilty and awful and robotic.